Im excited. Out tonight with a ton of kids to the movies then i'm sleeping over Britt's! Amy's baby shower is tmr. YAY! And i'm prolly gunna chill with Vicki afta the shower so i'm wicked excited! And since i'll be chilling with Vicki, my nose will get pierced! YAY!

I've started to fall back into my old ways. I haven't been to health class in like a week, i haven't done my homework, i skipped psych today, I'm craving ciggarettes. I've been feeling antisocial lately, i just haven't wanted to do anything that didnt involve personal gain (or rather destruction). Like i really wanted to party tonight, not for any other reason than get drunk and stoned for the first time in a long ass while. This is probably the bitchiest thing to say, but i feel like i've been forcing myself through interaction with other human beings. It's not good. And today when Britt Amy and I went under the stairwell to make out, i left before anything could happen because i needed to call someone. Actually that phoine call could've been put off for another half hour, but idk, if it had only been one of them it would've chill. but lets face it, on any other day, i  would've gone for that. 

Jon is home like he said he wouldn't be, i was excited for a while. But why would he want to hang out with a chick who he considers to be like a little sister, he'll just spend all of his time with Eric, just like last time, and i'll see him for a minute at most.

Andy is home finally. We were supposed to chill on thursday but he was dead. So i doubt i'll ever see him. I got him a fucking christmas present and everything.

Devin is home, i'm not even getting my hopes up.

Adam is home so i'm getting hit on more often. It's cute in wierd dude-i've-made-out-with-your-twin-sister-sooooooo-many-times kinda way.He is kinda hot though.

You can make assumptions about my sexual prefrences. I'm not attracted to girls, i just like to make out with people.

You seem to be the keeper of my unintentional thoughts best left discarded.
And I've seen you picking through my trash looking for some scraps of sense.

Why do i lie to my parents? Why do i let them annoy me so much? Why do i do what they want me to do?

Listening to plain white t's. I actually like them. Hey There Delilah is a really good song.

You know, I'm not outgoing. I'm not that girl that people actually go out of their way to be friends with. For one thing i dont care about how i look, and for another (or so i've been told) I give off "Don't talk to me" vibes. I don't know. Like take my sister. She's a completely reckless, irresponsible, lying slut, but people actually want to get to know her. They actually want to be pulled down with her. I don't understand why. Yeah, she can be fun, but one would think her negative aspects would outwiegh the positive ones. But she is this pretty black chasm. anyone who gets involved with her seems to come away with a sour taste left in thier mouth, but they keep coming back. How could you return to a friend who has lied to you about pretty much everything. I cant tell you how many times i've been with her and her friends and right in front of me she has lied about something i was there for. It's ridiculous and i feel like a fool calling her on it. I feel disgusted by this. So sick.